Bug Spray
by DarkeAngelle
Summary: People are like mosquitoes. They buzz and annoy and drink your blood, and it itches like hell when they leave. But some of them are resistant to repellent. Yanno, those big mutant ones that could kill you if they wanted, but you're safe inside and they're still pecking at the glass. SoRiku with side AkuRoku
1. First Impressions

The thing about Michigan summers wasn't just that they were hot. It wasn't the giant, genetically mutated mosquitos that could drain your entire body of blood if you stayed outside for more than fifteen minutes without any super-strength bug spray; the kind that made you smell like sour chemicals for days, choking everyone around you while the mosquitos built up their immunity. The thing about Michgan summers was that they were sticky. They were muggy and humid and _sticky_. Places like Texas had dry heat. The kind of heat that you could block out with little clay houses with white roofs that had hard-wired air conditioning systems. The wet, sticky, clingy kind of heat that hovered in between the Great Lakes was something that you couldn't block out. You had to seal up your doors and windows and spend your days in the freezer, sending prayers to the weather gods that the too-long winter would come back and bury you in six feet of snow. And it was the heavy kind of snow that made you wish the sticky days of summer were back, or made you wish that you had a nice cottage in the hills of Tennesse, where the winters weren't blanketed in six feet of snow quilts and the summers were dry and breezy.

Riku Maes hated the summer. Always had, and always would.

He had grown up with sticky summers and heavy winters, one being too short and miserable, and the other being too long and boring. He hated the weather as much as he hated all those little houses he had jumped to, chasing jobs that weren't hiring and a house market that was tanking harder than the gates were shutting in Detroit, shutting everything down. He hated how he sat by, idle as his homes were demolished for parking lots. How malls became empty and barren because jobs didn't pay enough and the houses were being foreclosed on. He hated how people turned their noses up on such things, denying that the world was in such a sorry state. He hated people that were so overly optimistic that it sounded like they were delusional. He hated people.

Riku Maes hated a lot of things. Always had, always would.

But somehow, all that hate had carried him away to college. He had a successful freshmen year, considering the circumstance of having a roommate who smoked pot all the time, a roommate who liked blaring dubstep and drinking himself into a coma for fun, and a roommate that disappeared mysteriously before finals, leading to a full-on police investigation that had successfully blocked him from doing any studying. But a 3.2 GPA was anything but horrible and he had, unlike some others, successfully made it to his second year without having a major breakdown or dying. So he considered to be in a good place, even if that place was currently laying on the plastic-tiled floor in nothing but his boxers, three fans turned on high and trying to beat back the heat that had seeped in thanks to poor window-sealing in the dorm room.

He was currently the only one in the room, but he could care less. His two roommates were out to pick up their third from the airport, since he had been a week late in moving in. How someone could be a full _week_ late to something like college completely dumbfounded Riku, but he didn't know the guy's current circumstance, so it seemed inappropriate to judge him so soon. He didn't even know the guy's name, but it didn't matter. Riku already hated him. He hated people that were morbidly late to such important things. Or maybe Riku should be more polite to his future bunk-mate.

There was a knock on the door, barely audible over the fans and the sound of the people on the floor above him moving around their furniture while someone down the hall rocked out a little _too_ hard to Taylor Swift. The knock was one of those stupid knocks. In that tune that you're supposed to give a_knock-knock_ back to. Was that even from a song? What song was it? No one knew. People just did that stupid little_ knock-knock-knockknock-knock _if they wanted to be amusing. People that knocked like that smiled and laughed when you opened the door, as if they were a fucking genius who just made your day because of their stupid knock. The kind of people who were all touchy-feely and liked "connecting" and "hanging out" with you. The kind of people that you couldn't get off your doorstep even if you pushed them back.

Riku Maes hated people like that.

Riku didn't get off of the floor to answer it. It wasn't like he really _could_—his back was currently stuck to it with sweat. Besides, if the rhythm-knocker wanted in that badly, he could just walk right in. It wasn't like the door was locked. Besides, Riku was good at faking his death. Maybe the kid would just think his brains fizzled and melted and the sticky summer was busy working away to rot his pale corpse. Or maybe he wouldn't come in and use common courtesy to stay the fuck out of the room when no one answered the door.

But Riku had high wishes, and the world liked aiming low.

The door swung open without much noise, the latch clicking and the door itself bumping into the recently emptied trash can that had been strategically placed behind it to hide their piles of Hot Pocket wrappers and crushed beer cans when the RA made their rounds. There was the sound of an enthusiastic greeting getting choked off in someone's throat as they entered, a faint _thunk_ as the door swung back and stopped on the visitor's shoe. Riku didn't even open his eyes to acknowledge him.

"Um… Is Axel in?"

The voice was faintly familiar, as if Riku had heard it over the phone when Axel was chatting away to his stupid friends while Roxas attempted to get him to _shut the fuck up already_ while he was trying to do his homework for the overload of ten classes that he was taking and already falling behind in. The voice itself was slightly nasal—not something that Riku found pleasure in hearing. Somewhat like a mosquito buzzing too close to his ear, making him swat at the bug long after it had even left, perching on his shoulder and sipping away while its buzzing echoed in the ear canals of its victim.

Annoying.

"No." It was short and clipped, laced with that uniquely _Riku_ tone. That tone that told you to shut up and go away because Riku Maes didn't like people and he certainly didn't like _you_, so go away already before you waste any more of his time.

But apparently annoying rhythm-knockers that buzzed like mosquitos were immune to that sort of thing.

"Do you know when he's gonna be back? I gotta—"

"No." Repeat it. Firmer with the tone. Cut him off. Stop waving his arm uselessly and just smack the damn parasite that was leeching off of his shoulder before it could buzz around any longer.

"Could you tell him I came by?"

What was his name anyway? It started with a D. Dan? Darren? Dirk? Dennis? Yeah. Dennis sounded about right.

"No."

"Tch. Don't gotta be such an asshole about it, geez." The door slammed shut, leaving Riku alone again with his blissful fans and the feeling of melting. He could hear Nasally Dennis angrily muttering to himself just outside of the door, punching numbers on his shitty phone to _call_ Axel rather than rely on a stupid asshole of a roommate.

Swatting mosquitoes while they were trying to drain you always did leave a bit of a sting. Not to mention that it itched like hell for the next month.

He must have fallen asleep after that, in his little puddle of overheated Riku, the sound of the fans lulling him to sleep. It wasn't one of those pleasant naps, either. It was one of those naps where he woke up wondering what year it was and what planet he was on. Where standing up and half-limping to the bathroom due to a stiff leg and the desire to wash off the sweat felt like he was walking through knee-deep Jell-o and his dreams kept trying to continue without him. He ended up standing in the shower without much care to actively wash himself, getting out a few minutes later when he heard the door open and Axel's usually chattering self pipe up.

"This is it! We're still workin' on gettin' the TV hooked up, but there's a fridge over there and all. This is just th' main room. You'll be stayin'—Yeah, right in there. Riku must be in the bathroom, but he sleeps on the bottom bunk. Ya can proba'ly ask him where ya wanna put yer stuff."

That fucking accent was so _annoying_. Worse than Nasally Dennis. Why did he have to get stuck with a roommate from Kentucky who did nothing but moan and groan about how tough it was for him to adjust? He was a third-year, for fuck's sake. The guy shouldn't even be staying with a second-year and two first-years. Shouldn't he have an apartment?

Another voice spoke up as Riku toweled off his hair, grabbing his brush to start fighting through knots. This voice was new. Not Roxas, not Axel, not Nasally Dennis or any other of their annoying friends. There was a slight accent to it that Riku couldn't quite place, but thankfully it wasn't as annoying or noticeable like Axel's was. He didn't sound like he was from another country or anything, but he was from _somewhere_.

"Thanks! Oh, Roxas, I can carry that—" _Thud_ "Okay, heh, maybe not." There was a nervous chuckle from more than one party, the click of the fridge being opened as Axel grabbed a juice box. There was the sound of dragging, the new tenant refusing any of Roxas' help as he dragged his belongings across the smooth floor and started unpacking, humming a rather upbeat tune as Riku continued yanking knots out of his dripping hair.

Riku had liked having that room to himself, even if it had just been for a week. He knew where everything was, how to get from Point A to Point B without worrying about waking anyone up, and he could do whatever the hell he wanted in there. Now he had a bunk mate. Someone to shake around in the top bunk, causing discomfort for whoever was stuck on the bottom. But it wasn't his fault he didn't like the top bunk. It wasn't his fault that his roommate had been an entire week late to school. It wasn't his fault that he had to worry about his things getting messed up now that there was someone else sharing the room.

He didn't even know why this guy was pissing him off when he didn't even know his _name_ yet.

Sighing and tying his hair back with one of the many rubber bands around his wrist, Riku stepped back into his boxers and wished that he had thought to bring in a change of clothes with him. He didn't think it would make a very good first impression if he just walked in there in nothing but his underwear with damp bangs hanging down past his eyes and flushed skin from the heat of his shower and the sticky summer.

But then again, since when did Riku Maes ever care anything about first impressions?

He kept the scratchy towel around his shoulders at an attempt for modesty, finally exiting the bathroom to hear more clearly what was going on. Axel was still trying to fix the TV, Roxas sipping at the stolen juice box and occasionally muttering "better" or "more to the left" as Axel tilted and twisted the aluminum foil-covered antenna. He got a distracted greeting and a sarcastic "nice shirt" from Roxas, to which he replied with a grunt and a flip of a certain finger before he turned, stepping in through the open door of his bedroom.

No, it wasn't just _his_ now.

He seemed to go undetected as he crossed the room to the bottom bunk, taking a seat as Sora arranged hangers in the too-small closet. Lucky for him—Riku had already claimed the drawers. He didn't have to worry about his new roommate messing _that_ up.

"Oh! Hey, sorry! I must not've heard you come in."

Any good intentions that Riku had on making a good impression were promptly thrown out the window with a grunt as he flopped down against his sheets, wishing the damn heat would go away. Nasally Dennis had already ruined his day. He didn't need a chipper new roommate to worsen that for him.

"My name's Sora!" Riku's face was buried in his pillow, but he could still see Sora's smile. He could_feel_ the toothy grin just shining off of that bastard like he was on some stupid teeth whitening commercial.

If there was something Riku hated more than rhythm knockers, it was people that smiled too much. Optimists. The kinds of people that refused to see the bad in the world. They even refused to acknowledge that the person they were talking to was fresh out of the shower and borderline naked and that was _not_ supposed to be comfortable between two guys when they first met. The kind of people that would say it was a beautiful day when there was sticky humidity making your clothes stick to your sweaty body or when there was six and a half feet of snow covering everything and preventing you from leaving the building because the maintenance man broke the snow shovel again.

Just a few words, and Riku was certain he had Sora's personality pinned right there and then.

There was a bit of awkward shuffling in response to Riku's reaction before Sora was back to hanging up clothes, occasionally disappearing from the room to put things in the bathroom or ask Roxas where he could hang up posters. Riku stayed perfectly content where he was, debating on going back to sleep. He still felt a little fuzzy, not completely awake after his short nap on the floor. And that floor had _really _killed his back.

"So, um, you're Riku, right?"

Looks like he had another mosquito on his hands.

But, try as he might, there wouldn't be any swatting this one away. Sora was his roommate now, and that was that. Even if he hated people, he had to at least make an effort. Riku Maes may not have liked people, but Sora wasn't just "people". He was his roommate. And unless they were going to be spending the school year in awkward silences, Riku had to reach out. At least a little bit, just to make it comfortable. Let the mosquito drink for now—kill it with pesticides later.

So he sat up, pushing himself up and off of the pillow. Feet swung over and landed with a little slap on the floor, the towel falling back down to the bed as a hand worked through the bangs that were busy tickling his cheeks. "Yeah, I'm—"

There was the gasp.

It was always a gasp. Riku hadn't heard anything else. The only one that had been different was the "sweet scar" Axel had blurted after his gasp. He even heard Sora's hand slap down over his mouth when he realized the noise he had made. But Riku was used to it. Always had, always would be.

There were thick scars lying under the hanging wisps of his hair. Very thick. Pink, distorted tan, a little bit of purple. Disgusting, really. His formerly-beautiful eyes were covered in them, squinted slightly due to the wound. Another scar in much of the same fashion was on the left side of his neck, spreading down like hideous roots to his shoulder. He couldn't see, but he could feel Sora's eyes on him. It went on longer than it usually did, no question of "what happened to you" breaking through the shocked silence.

There was a shrill beep, shattering the awkward moment like a hammer on glass. Riku's hand slammed on the off switch, getting up and stepping into a pair of shorts at the base of his bed, yanking a high-collared shirt sans sleeves on over himself. Snapping the bands on his wrists distractedly, he eventually found his backpack and his cane to get to his evening class, not saying a word as he left Sora standing in confusion and shock.

Riku Maes hated people. Always had, always would.


	2. Awkward and Sticky and Weird

A/N: Alright, so these chapters are probably going to be getting progressively longer.

I was going to make a big fancy announcement but I guess that's it.

Also, thanks for all the reviews and follows so soon! You guys are stellar and that's a dumb thing to say but enjoy this fucking chapter while I get sleep.

* * *

The thing about sticky Michigan summers was that, well, they had weak nights. As soon as the sun went down, it was like someone had turned the AC on high and the wind on low. It was conflicting, how it could be such a cool, calm night with the moon shining down with pale beams, but there were so many damn mosquitoes and gnats in the air that it was like walking through a sandstorm. It was best to keep your head down and your mouth shut until you got inside, or at least until morning. Summer nights were just like that.

People seemed to glorify them with pictures of bonfires on beaches, skinny girls in short-shorts, and guys with rock-hard abs and surfer bodies. But no one in Michigan had a surfer body. You were either toned from working on a farm or chubby from living inside with video games, away from the angry summer bugs that were dive-bombing at your windows to get in. Or you had Riku's body. Only toned because he was bored without sight; a lot of forms of entertainment weren't as enjoyable anymore. Music and long walks and laps in a school pool were really the only things Riku had been doing since the accident. Summer was just the time that swimming and walks were best, but smoke from bonfires and the buzz of cicadas still annoyed him.

Riku Maes hated summer, and that was just how it was going to be.

But Riku liked his schedule. His earliest class was at noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and his earliest on the other days wasn't until three in the afternoon. No Friday class. The only downside to it, however, was that he usually missed the dinner hours at the cafeteria. He usually stopped at the library after class to fix that, buying a sandwich from the café on his walk back to the dorm. Usually, though, he wasn't hungry. Funnily enough, a two hour lecture on genetics and taxidermy was enough to put off his appetite for several hours. Professor Vexen just seemed to have that effect. Or maybe it was the topic of study itself.

But one thing that Riku did like about today, outside of the sticky heat that was making his clothing cling to his frame and his flip-flops to squeak with sweat, and that was the serenity. Mondays were all but dead at this time, everyone busy studying or doing homework to party too hard. It was still the beginning of the semester, but it seemed like Roxas wasn't the only one struggling with his course weight. Riku was glad he signed up for the minimum of five classes. It was easy, and it wasn't like he had to rush this whole college thing. As long as he kept his GPA, he could afford it. That with governments grants, high school awards, and the money he had in the bank? He was set.

When he was younger, Riku never thought much of his future. He never thought he would be going to public school. He never thought his life could be relatively normal for more than two years at a time. He never thought his bank account would inflate so much. He never thought he would be Valedictorian of his graduating class. He never thought he would be at college—A state college, of all. He never thought that he would be getting his college tuition paid for.

He never thought he would be sitting out front of the five-story campus library with a tuna sandwich in his lap, and earbuds in his ears, tapping away at his phone to avoid going back to a too-happy roommate.

When Riku had met Roxas and Axel on the first day, it had gone relatively well. They had exchanged names, laid down some dorm rules, helped set up the furniture in the main room (although Axel still had to fix that damn TV), and Riku had prepared to give his "I'm blind, but not helpless" speech before Roxas abruptly cut him off to unload his own burdens. He and Axel were romantically (and sexually, Riku found out that weekend) involved. Axel had a memory disorder, giving him severe short-term memory loss. It was so bad that the poor guy didn't even remember the name of his condition. Roxas stuck to him like glue to keep an eye on him. Roxas himself was schizophrenic, which made Riku a little unsettled, until he learned that Roxas was dedicated to taking his medicine on time. Riku's blindness wasn't that big of a deal, and Axel had thought the scars were cool. It had been comfortable. It _was_ comfortable.

But Sora wasn't like them. He was bright and chipper, something that Riku had pinned during their first fifteen minutes of awkward interaction. He wasn't sarcastic or subtly bitter like Axel and Roxas were. Riku wasn't good with people like that. Hell, he wasn't really good with people in general. He had a couple of friends, sure, but one of them was currently overseas to study abroad and the other had dropped out of college due to his inability to pay for the next semester. So when he thought about it, maybe he didn't have any friends at all. But Riku wasn't good with people in general. He was good with people like Roxas, who insulted to compliment. People like Axel that could manipulate you into doing their chores without even knowing what had hit you.

He couldn't deal with people that hummed pop songs or lapsed into silence when they saw something horrible like third-degree burn scars over someone's face.

Things had clicked with Roxas and Axel. Things with Sora were left hovering in midair and not finished. School had interrupted, and Riku's dreamy bad-nap state hadn't been a good foot to step out with. He figured he should apologize, start over with a state-of-the-art "I'm Riku, don't touch my stuff and don't touch me", but he couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen. As soon as he had seen the scars, Sora shut right up. And with all that humming he had been doing, Riku wondered if Sora was really a quiet person. He didn't really seem like he was.

Why the hell did he _care_ so much about a damn first impression?

He huffed, calling up a name on his phone and pausing there. He could easily hit the call button on his stupid, bulky custom phone and call. Then again, he didn't really have anything to say. He wasn't a big phone person. He wasn't even a big talking person. He just felt… out of sorts. Today had been weird, he finally decided. Hot, sticky, and awkward.

The phone was shoved back into his shorts and he took a bite of his tuna sandwich like the thing had caused him a personal offense.

Maybe he would take a walk. Go for a run. If he took a left, walked until he felt the curbside, then took a right for fifty-odd steps, he would be at the campus gym. The doors were automatic. He could walk straight forward until he found the desk, scan his ID, go through the little turning bar like they had at subway stations and airports, take a left, get on the track, and _run_. He ran every weekend, or when he got bored of reading or doing push-ups on the floor or listening to Roxas rattle off a list of Axel's homework every time he forgot, which was about every fifteen minutes.

But right now, he had a tuna sandwich and Of Monsters and Men was busy whispering in his ears from his bulky cell-phone-slash-mp3-player. And he didn't really want to get up just yet.

He felt the bench shake and the cheap plywood bend slightly as someone sat down next to him. The scent of tanning oil, bug spray, and girl sweat washed over him, and he tried hard not to wrinkle his nose. It wasn't like there was a point in getting her to go away. He knew who she was just because of her beachy smell. He pulled one earbud out when he heard her take a lungful of air, knowing what was about to leave Kairi Ward's mouth was anything but a simple "Hey, nice sandwich".

"Are you _sure_ you don't want to come to the apartment?"

She was _still_ on about that?

He fixed her with what he had assumed was his glare, because pulling those muscles and tilting his head like that seemed to get people to leave him alone.

"Don't gimme that! Seriously, Riku, we still have a spare room!"

"Kairi, I like the dorm." _Munch_. He had a little under half of it left. Maybe if he ate fast enough, he could make up some bullshit excuse like "I have to go make sure I didn't scare my new roommate into a coma" and get away from her.

"Sure?"

Kairi Ward was one of those people that he grew up with. That wasn't entirely true though, considering how often he had moved around since he was a kid. Seven different houses, five different school districts. And that didn't include college moving. But Kairi had been there for the last two years of high school, forcing herself into the little bubble of isolation that Riku had worked so hard to keep anyone from popping. She was the reason he hadn't gone insane from loneliness and one of the major factors in his college-choosing. They had wanted to get a room together, but gender-specific dorms tended to keep them from that. So immediately after their freshman year, Kairi had signed a lease with one of the friends she had made for a three-room apartment. And ever since she had signed the lease, she had been practically begging (no, _literally_ begging) Riku to move into the extra room. Her argument was that living in such a loud dorm wasn't healthy, and that sharing space with three boys was "so not cool" and living with two girls was what he should be doing.

He didn't like girls _that_ much.

Another munch and he was met with mostly empty air. His hands balled up the wrapper as he swallowed, standing up and grabbing his cane with his free hand. He hated using the damn thing, but until he had every nook and cranny of the campus memorized (which was impossible, and he regrettably accepted that as his fate) he needed the thing to make sure he didn't plow anyone over or get pushed out into oncoming traffic.

"Alright, fine. But just keep in mind that there's a spot open, okay?"

Maybe Shock-Silenced Sora would like living with Kairi. They both hummed the same tunes. Maybe they would get along.

"Okay, Kairi."

"So where're you off to?" she prodded, taking the garbage from his loose fist to throw it away, saving him the hassle of trying to find the can, then the opening, then manage to get the wrapper inside of the damn thing.

"The dorm." He could go running tomorrow. Or maybe he would just aimlessly walk around the dorm hall for a while. No, that was probably going to get him in trouble. The RAs worried too much over "Poor Blind Riku". They didn't seem to want to listen to him when he said he was _fine_ so stop _touching_ him so much.

"Oh, I'm heading up that way too!"

People didn't understand the meaning of _personal space_.

But if Kairi was clinging to his arm like that, at least he didn't have to use the fucking cane.

He still didn't like being touched though. Even if it was Kairi, who smelled like mangoes because her hair was tickling his shoulder and her lotion-softened hands were holding onto bicep, giving a small squeeze that could be suspected for her trying to feel him up a little still made it a touch. The way her hands would linger a bit too long, the way her fingers would fan out to feel as much as possible. How she would shift her weight as they walked, trying to be casual as he was practically used as a crutch.

He really hated girls sometimes.

They were the worst kinds of mosquitos. The genetically-altered, alien, giant kind. The kind that you couldn't kill, no matter how much bug spray you used.

But Kairi was his _friend_. He was supposed to be nice to _friends_.

Fuck social standards.

But Kairi was yap-yapping away like she hadn't talked in years and just wanted to hear her voice again. She was a communications major and, unfortunately for Riku, he could tell. She talked about the fuzzy rug she bought that looked like it was from the seventies and wanted furniture to match. The annoying habits of her roommate that she was already getting annoyed with and wanted to change. Classes and how she wanted to skip them already. How Riku smelled of tuna now and she wanted to give him a mint. She wanted to get another tan before autumn and the inevitable winter set in. She wanted a haircut. She wanted a shiatsu massage and a mani-pedi— whatever the hell that was.

Girls just _wanted_. They never _had_.

She walked with him most of the way before she finally detached, heading down a separate road to her apartment. She said a cheery goodbye, gave a hug (which Riku didn't return, nor had he ever because he didn't like _touching_ people), and she was off.

He stuffed his earbuds back in and hovered his cane above the ground to find his way back on his own. Tuna breath and all.

Riku Maes liked to be alone, thank you very much.

Which is why he never spent too much time in the dorm, and an apartment was completely out of the option just because of how many parties happened there. He liked walking alone, music plugged in, sticky summer air on his face. Well, all of that except for the air. He could go for something a bit less humid and a bit more breezy, but that's what he got for living in Michigan. He should have fled to Oregon when he had the chance. Should have _made _a chance. Pack up a caravan with some oxen, guns, and dried goods. The whole Oregon Trail thing.

But he was here, and he was going to have to fucking _deal_ with it because that's what Riku did. He dealt with things because there was no other way for him to live. He dealt with blindness, he dealt with loss. He dealt with sticky summers and clingy female friends. He _dealt_, damn it, and he was pretty damn fast at adjusting to just about everything that was thrown at him.

Except for Shock-Silenced Sora.

The room was unlocked when Riku got back, saving him the trouble of searching his pockets for his keys, figuring out which key to use, turning it, yanking it out of the time-worn lock—

"Hey."

Riku just gave a nod in response as he yanked his earbuds out and wrapped them around his phone, not needing the voice to tell him who was home. Axel _reeked_ of cigarette smoke for miles. And yet he hadn't witnessed the guy light up a thing in the past week. Regardless, Riku should probably look into buying some Febreeze for the guy to bathe in.

"Where's Roxas?"

"Dunno."

Right. Why had he even bothered to ask? It wasn't like Axel knew. Axel was off his meds again. Axel was forgetful. Axel would forget his own name if it wasn't scribbled on all of his belongings in dried-out Sharpie. Riku didn't know why he liked Axel. He didn't know why he tolerated Forgetful Axel.

The cane was propped up behind the trashcan in the corner, out of sight from any curious looks. His backpack was thrown into the doorway of his room, flinching when he heard the bag of books slam onto the hard floor. But he just sighed and kicked off his sandals by the door and threw those into his room too, hearing the familiar crinkle of aluminum as Axel continued twisting and turning the antenna.

"Still can't see anything," Riku informed him, crossing his arms and facing in the direction of all of the little tinkering noises.

"Shit," he snarled, and there was more tinkering. A muffled laugh came from the couch, Riku starting slightly. He hadn't known Roxas was there too.

"Can you see it now, ya—?" Riku could practically hear the gears snap together, Axel's jaw tightening. "Oh, ya little shit! Ya really think tha' was necessary?"

Roxas broke his laughter barrier, practically cackling at Axel's misfortune as the elder tried to get the antenna back to the position they were. "Riku! Riku, high five!"

Riku went for it. Roxas stopped laughing. Now, Axel was laughing at the hand-shaped mark on his boyfriend's forehead.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"Never ask a blind person to hit a target," he teased, completely not sorry and with a few tingling fingers as he made his way over to the mini fridge and yanked it open, reaching in and grabbing a water bottle that he had stashed in the door earlier in the day. The air outside might have been humid enough to swim in, but it sure had a way of drying him out.

There was a victorious huff of air as the signal finally came in clear, late-night sitcoms filtering through a tinny, static-filled speaker. A creak of protesting metal framework as Axel flopped himself down on the couch, and a few rebuttals as Axel stole back his juice box. Riku chose to perch on top of the fridge, not wanting to go into his room to pick up the things he had thrown just yet. Sometimes, he just liked listening, even if the TV's sound quality was absolute shit.

They sat like that for a while, Axel occasionally asking a question about the show he was apparently falling behind on, and Roxas giving a lazy answer. It wasn't until the show ended and another started that Riku remembered that they had a fourth member.

"Where's Sora?"

Before Axel could blurt out his usual "dunno", Roxas spoke up. And Riku didn't like the tone.

"He went to fix his schedule with one of the counselors."

Riku didn't respond to that. Roxas sounded like there was more he wanted to say. Something on the tip of his tongue. Something else about Sora. Sora, their week-late roommate with his happy humming.

Sure enough, as soon as the commercials were back on, he spat it out.

"What did you say to him earlier, by the way? He looked a little freaked out."

He was the one that made it awkward by being quiet.

"Nothin'."

"Ya showed 'im yer scar, didn'tcha?"

"Yeah." It was surprising enough that Axel could even _remember_ he had a scar, considering that he had forgotten he was blind earlier.

"I still think it's cool, man."

"Thanks, Ax," he muttered, making a show of rolling his eyes. "So when's Sora getting back?"

"He—"

—had impeccable timing, that's what.

The door opened and Sora came in, pausing awkwardly as the door closed. He made an uncertain little noise in the back of his throat, much like that of a cornered animal. He probably knew they had been talking about him. Either that, or he was trying to see Riku's scar again through his snowy hair.

"Riku wanted to tell you something, Sora."

_Gee thanks, Roxas._

"Um, okay?"

Normally, Riku couldn't tell when people were staring at him. After the initial accident, before they moved again, he had felt it. He heard the whispers and all. But he couldn't stare back at people that stared at him, so what was the point of feeling it? That bristly-neck feeling wasn't nice at all. He wasn't missing out on much.

But now?

It was like Sora was staring a hole through him.

And it was awkward and it was silent and Axel sucked too hard on the straw of his juice box and it made that god-awful sipping noise of mostly air and there was canned laughter on TV and Roxas cleared his throat and was probably trying to tell Riku to speak the fuck up and break the silence because drama like this was for girls and Riku hated girls because they _wanted_ too much.

What was he thinking about again?

"Sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to, uh… freak out like that."

Wasn't Riku the one nominated to break the silence?

"It's cool. I'm used to it and all."

Roxas cleared his throat again. Axel got up to find the remote after crushing the juice box.

"So, uh, start over?"

"Sure, whatever."

Canned laughter.

"I'm Sora!"

Too fake.

"Riku."

The couch squeaked as Axel sat back down and the canned laughter got louder. Riku got off the mini fridge and sipped at his water as he walked back to the bedroom to pick up his things. Roxas make an uncomfortable little noise, as if he was going to stop Riku from leaving, but Axel's lips muffled it.

"Nice to meet you!"

Axel muttered about forgetting homework.

"Yeah."

The water bottle was empty.

"I'm gonna take a shower!"

Could mosquitoes drown?

* * *

It was way too hot to sleep, so Riku laid on top of his sheets and imagined that he was staring at the ceiling. But there wasn't a ceiling in his line of sight, if he had one. There was the bottom of a bed. _Sora_ was up there.

Having someone sleeping above him, making the bed squeak whenever they moved, was an alien concept to Riku. Last year, his bunkmate had un-bunked the beds, dragging his out to the middle room since he never spent many nights in the room anyway. His bed had served as a nice couch. But now his bed was very much bunked, and Sora was still awake, and Riku could hear the movie he was watching because his headphones were too loud.

Day One was a long one.

Riku supposed he should have spoken up. He should tell him to shut the damn thing off so he could sleep, but Sora was enjoying his Disney-thon. Weren't Disney movies supposed to be for watching during finals week?

But Sora was just weird, and Riku was finding that out very quickly.

The most bizarre thing, which kept buzzing around in Riku's head like a fly slamming itself against the window to find its way out, was that Sora had a _week_ late. He was a freshman, but that was no excuse. Even _freshmen_ knew when school started. Freshmen weren't that dumb.

It was only three months ago that Riku Maes was a first-year freshman, but that wasn't the point here.

The point was that Sora was _weird_.

He sang in the shower. And after it, when Riku was in their room reading and trying to ignore the make out session going on in the main room, Sora came in with water drip-dripping on the hard floors and bare feet padding around as he dressed. No unwrapping of a towel, just clothes being pulled on. Sora was naked. Just because Riku was blind didn't make it any less awkward for Sora to be _naked_ in front of him. He wished he could shield his ears or something.

But then the Disney marathon had started. He grabbed a Nerds Rope from his backpack and climbed up to the top bunk, chomping away at his snack and watching Peter Pan instead. Why he was eating sugar after brushing his teeth, Riku didn't know. Now he was watching the Lion King. Riku could hear Scar's "long live the king" now.

Sora was weird.

But at least he didn't do drugs, smoke, or drink. Yet.

The sudden snap of the laptop shutting cut off the sounds of the stampede, and Riku wondered if Sora was one of those people who bawled like a baby at Mufasa's death. While he wouldn't tell anyone, Riku was one of those crying people.

The bed creaked and swayed a little as Sora moved, a muttered little "ow" as he hit his head on the bar to duck under it. There was a moment of silence in which Riku could feel himself getting stared at again, like Sora's eyes were made of lasers. But laser eyes were dumb and Riku was being stupid and Sora was weird.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," was his sleepy response, even if he wasn't that tired. It was too sticky to be tired.

"It's kinda personal though…"

Probably about his blindness.

"Like, how do you get around without your stick? I mean, you took it to class, but you don't use it in the room."

Yep. He knew it.

He was silent after that question for maybe five seconds before Sora was blurting out a rushed, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you!"

What was it with people and treating him so… different?

Right. He was _blind_.

"It's fine," he sighed, rolling over and folding his arms under the pillow. But that made his skin stick together, so he was on his back again, spread out with his left leg and left arm hanging off the bed. The floor was a little cooler than the air, although not by much. Tiny relief that wasn't worth the effort, but he was too lazy and it was too hot to pull them back onto the skinny dorm bed. "It's just because I memorized the layout here. I got here a day before Axel and Roxas, plus I was in this same room last year." It was hard to shrug, lying down. "I bump into the couch sometimes, but I deal."

Because dealing with things was the only thing Riku could do.

"Oh… Isn't it hard? Being blind, I mean." Five seconds later, and he was apologizing again.

Sora was weird.

"If you're trying to give me sympathy, save it. I'm fine."

There was a pause then, in which Sora moved again. He wasn't half-hanging down anymore, but back on his bed in the proper way, tucking his laptop under his pillow and making the bed creak more. "I'm sorry."

"Will you stop saying that?"

"…Sorry."

Riku sighed, but he was too tired and hot and sticky to really give a damn. "Whatever."

Finally, Sora seemed to be placated, even if Riku had hedged around his question. Seconds ticked by on the standardized clock on the wall, and Riku started to count them. He liked to count things. He counted his steps, counted how many grapes he had with his brunch, counted the ticks of the clock, how many books, how many classes, how many days it had been since he had gotten here.

He was almost asleep when the bed creaked again and Sora's voice broke the darkness.

"When did it happen?"

He didn't have to ask what Sora was talking about. He had gotten a lot of questions about his scar. How, when, why, what, and everything in between. People were nosy for something sad. The media was the same way. Glorify the bad, pity yourself, oh look there's another shooting we need to discuss for the next week. How horrible. Bad news was good news. It made you appreciate what you had. "Oh, thank god I wasn't there!" about a shooting. "Oh, thank god I'm not blind!" about Riku Maes.

"A while ago."

"You weren't born blind, right?"

"Right."

And that was the worst part.

When he really thought about it, Riku wished that he _had_ been born blind. But he hadn't. He had been able to observe the world, horrors and all. The way that snow layered in the pattern of the wind, the way that dirt would get under his fingernails, or even the way clouds moved so sluggishly when you needed shade. It was the little things that he could remember. He knew that the sky was blue, of course, but he cared more about the way that butterflies stuck out their curly little tongues to give you "kisses" as they ate the pollen and dirt off of your cheeks and when their wings unfolded, they looked like masks. He remembered watching his groggy face in the morning as he brushed his teeth. He knew what color his eyes were, how weird his hair looked in that premature state of gray. He remembered what color his room always ended up being decorated in—black. His closet was filled with black clothes, he had black curtains to keep the sun out when he wanted to sleep in, he had a black dog at one point, and his sheets had been black silk as a prank gift that he ended up enjoying. Funny how he used to like that color so much.

Now, black was all he ever saw. Black as a widow's funeral gown.

It was fitting.

"Well, then when did you lose it?"

He didn't want to be confiding this sort of thing to someone he hadn't known twelve hours ago.

So he just rolled over onto his stomach with his right arm and right leg hanging off of his black silk sheets and tried to ignore the world enough to get to sleep.

* * *

Sora had early morning classes. Sora had purposely picked out classes before noon. Sora was a _morning person_.

Riku hated that.

He didn't even know what time it was when We Will Rock You started blaring somewhere above him, waking him with a start. He blinked in utter confusion for the first thirty seconds of the stomp-stomp-clap before Sora woke up, groaning as he shut off the alarm and flopping back down on the mattress hard enough to make the beds shake.

Unfortunately for him, Riku was a very light sleeper. And he was _not_ a morning person.

Sora clambered down the ladder, trying to be as quiet as possible as he started changing clothes, packing things into his backpack, stuffing his jingly keys into his pocket, and whispering the lyrics to I Just Can't Wait to be King under his breath.

What was with Sora and singing?

Whatever.

Riku was too busy trying to smother himself with his own pillow so he could get some sleep.

There was a bit of paper crumpling as Sora reviewed his schedule, starting to get a bit louder with his lyrics and hopping around the room like he was dancing. Once his things were packed up, he slipped into the bathroom to get ready. And Sora took way too long in the bathroom for a normal guy, but then again, Sora was weird and Riku was too tired and the heat was worse than it had been yesterday and there was a fly buzzing around the window to get outside.

But Riku had fallen asleep before Sora had even left (singing with his mp3 blasting in his ears now) with a thought lingering in his subconscious.

Sora was weird.

And it was going to be a long semester.


	3. Um Uh Okay

**A/N:** Alright, so this is a little shorter than I would have liked, but I always get awkward with little time skips.

I just thought I would put up a notice here because I'm having trouble finding people, but **I am opening commissions**. For $10 (Paypal USD or we can talk) you'll get a drabble anywhere from 500 words to 5,000. It won't be over 6,000. (For a good max length, the last chapter was around 5,000). I'm most comfortable with Kingdom Hearts, but I'll also do Final Fantasy VII or XII, or you can just throw a fandom at me and I'll let you know if I'm good with it.

If you're interested, send me a PM. If not, spread the news? Thanks.

Whether you read that or not, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

It had happened almost ten years ago. Riku was almost twenty, and the scars on his face were almost ten years old.

It didn't seem like it had been that long. It didn't seem like he had had such wicked marks across his face. It didn't seem like that long since his world was plunged into darkness.

He still remembered what the world looked like. It wasn't something hard to forget. He knew what the sky looked like, he knew what he looked like, and he knew what his brother looked like. Wasn't that really all he needed to know? He had those memories, those mental images, and he wondered if it was really that big of a deal that he wouldn't see them again. Yes, he did miss his sight, but he had the memories.

Unfortunately, most of his memories were cast in the negative.

He remembered watching his father be dragged off by police when he was barely five. His mother cried a lot that day, and his brother took him upstairs to a darkened room where he distracted him with video games so he wouldn't have to see. He never saw his father again after that. He went to prison, and his mother explained that "Daddy won't be home again" and he had no choice but to believe her. She was right, of course. He didn't find out until years later that his father had died in that prison. Some riot or some fight. Not that it mattered. Riku didn't really want to hear the details. It was bad enough that he found out that the reason for the arrest was child pornography and other things Riku didn't want to think about. He had never liked his father anyway, from the small memories that he had of him.

When he was eight, only a couples years before the accident, his mother died. He had gotten home from school early, but Terra had been busy with his last football game of his senior year. Riku was supposed to find his mom so they could go to the game and sit on sun-warmed bleachers and watch his brother slam other boys into the ground with clashing helmets and grass stains. He had gone home after the bus dropped him off, his overstuffed backpack haphazardly open as he came inside. He remembered that he got a glass of juice and put his backpack on the floor. He pet the dog and noticed she was acting strange, whines sounding in her throat and her black hair a bit bristled. He had ignored her, knowing she was prone to being a pouter whenever she wanted something. He would give her a treat in a little while.

But he hadn't given her that treat, because his mother was hanging from the overhead beam in the living room with a pretty white rope around her crooked neck with an overturned chair underneath.

There hadn't been a note. No explanation. The therapist said that she probably did it due to the grief over her husband and the strain of raising two boys. Her life insurance would be enough to pay for Terra's college. They said maybe that was why she did it. To try to help her sons.

After that, the government stepped in. Riku would have gone to foster care or an orphanage, if Terra hadn't stepped up the way he had. He signed all the paperwork and became Riku's guardian, flat-out refusing for him to be taken away.

Terra gave up college for him. They moved around from apartments to trailers to tiny little dilapidated houses for the next few years.

But before that, the accident happened.

It had been the week before Riku's eleventh birthday, and they had moved into a trailer. Terra wanted to make it a special occasion, given their new home and Riku's birthday. He bought a little plastic pool for the summer, squirt guns, and a case of fireworks. But Riku was a curious kid. He knew what fireworks were, and he knew they were dangerous. But that didn't stop him from sitting out in the front yard and lighting one off.

He thought the fuse was longer. He wasn't sure where to aim it. He thought that the little rocket could hold itself up with flimsy cardboard. He thought it would shoot up a hundred feet and explode into beautiful bits of sparkling embers. He thought that he had enough time to get away from it before it blew.

Terra had been home at the time and came out as soon as he heard the explosion. Even the neighbors came over. A garden hose was dragged over to put out the fire and someone called an ambulance. There was a lot of screaming and a lot of panic, and Riku wasn't sure if he had been awake or not as it happened. All he knew was that he woke up to the smell of sterile sheets, blood, and aloe rub and it was dark.

It was going to be dark for the rest of his life.

There was a surgery he could get. A skin graft of almost his entire face. His eyes were a task in and of themselves, and they had explained the process of getting a corneal transplantation, but Riku didn't exactly trust it. The surgery was too expensive anyway. They couldn't afford it. Riku didn't really care, anyway. He was a quick to adapt. He would be fine.

He hadn't explained to anyone how he had gone blind. Not even Kairi. His explanation was that it had been a fire accident, and that was mostly true. The real truth was that he simply didn't like talking about it. He didn't like thinking about it.

He tried to remember the good memories. Like the time Terra's team won Homecoming and there had been a party at their house with cake and pizza and the team had taken Riku out back to show him how to properly throw a football. Memories like the color of the sky on a cloudless summer day. The way snow smoothed out with the wind patterns and looked almost like frosting. Memories of rain plinking down into a lake, making little ripples and causing fish to jump at the prospect of bugs. The yellows and reds in his mother's garden. The thick black hair of his dog, which made her look like a mop when she laid on the kitchen floor. The nicer, smaller things.

Sometimes, he wondered what people looked like.

He knew that Kairi had red hair, but not as red as Axel's. Axel dyed his hair, and he knew that because one day Roxas screamed in the bathroom saying it looked like someone had been murdered in the sink. He knew that Professor Vexen had slimy blonde hair from what students said. Roxas was a blonde, because sometimes Axel called him "Blondie" if he was being stuffy. He knew all of these things, but he still didn't know what they really _looked_ like. It was frustrating, sometimes, to only know small traits, letting his brain freely make up an image that could look nothing like the real thing. It was like trying to paint a picture of someone you had only seen for a split second in a crowd. You knew the important things, but you didn't know if they had dimples when they smiled or the way their muscles moved under their skin or how their eyes sparkled when they were excited. He felt like he was missing out on a lot, thanks to those minor details.

Things like that bothered him. But what really got to him was that being blind was being less than human.

As soon as people noticed that he was blind, they went immediately out of their way to help him. People held doors open for him and said things like "It's right here, just follow my voice" and no shit he knew where it was— But he always followed. He never thanked them. But sometimes, people would take his arm to guide him, and Riku _really_ hated being touched. It was like he was a helpless little puppy that everyone fawned over and pet, saying nonsense in an attempt to comfort him. If he accidentally knocked something over or bumped into someone, he always apologized over someone nearly yelling "It's okay!" at him. How dare he have the gall to apologize! He was just a helpless little puppy, the poor dear!

He _hated_ it.

That was why he had spent most of last year and the summer to memorize the layout of the dorm hall he was in, even going to the length of signing up for the exact same room again. If he knew his way around good enough, he didn't need his cane. He counted the steps, felt the walls, and strained his ears to judge where he was. If he didn't have a cane, people wouldn't think he was blind so early on.

Terra had lectured him about that at first. He wanted to get Riku a guide dog, if he hated the cane so much, but Riku insisted that a guide dog would be worse. Besides, he liked living in the dorm, and dogs weren't allowed there or in the apartments anyway. He would deal with a cane and his step-counting methods.

But no matter how much he tried, Riku wasn't going to be Riku Maes anymore. He was That Blind Kid That We Need to Help Whenever Possible.

And Riku Maes hated that.

* * *

Tuesday wasn't as bad as Monday. Mondays had a reputation of badness to hold up, and Tuesdays always seemed so calm and boring in comparison.

Tuesday meant that Riku only had one class, a two-hour period of beginner broadcasting. One hour of lecture, one hour of working in the studio. It was Riku's favorite class, simply for the fact that he could actually do the work without needing special equipment. He knew which dials did what, what buttons turned the mic on, and he knew every song by the first few notes because the station really only had around 200 songs in the entire database.

After class, Riku headed straight back for the dorm. He knew that he should pick something up for lunch or a snack, but he popped a piece of gum between his teeth and decided against it. He had some class reading to do and he wanted to see if he could work through the novel he was reading for fun. It was an old book—one that he had read at least three times. But books in braile were expensive and Riku didn't have the money to buy any others. That stupid _Chicken Soup for the Soul_ book was about as entertaining as his collection was going to get.

But that was what he got for being blind, wasn't it?

Oh well.

He noticed that the sidewalks tended to be more crowded on Tuesdays. His cane kept bumping into the heel of someone's shoes, causing him to walk much slower than he preferred. The heat was thick and heavy today, stealing breath away and causing almost everyone's t-shirts to get puddles in the armpits, regardless of deodorant. Riku liked tanks in this sort of weather. He would prefer to be inside of a freezer, but a tank top and a pair of cargo shorts were about as good as his freezer was going to get. The humidity was making his hair frizz, even though it was wrestled back into a sloppy ponytail. But his bangs still hung in his face, a few pieces tickling at his ears. It wasn't hot enough that he needed to freak everyone out. He didn't need to hear their reactions.

He wanted to be human today.

No one was home when Riku unlocked the door and stepped in, the hum of the fans filling in the silence that the TV or his roommates would have normally filled. He put his things away and put a cold washcloth on the back of his neck, sitting down on the couch with his Shakespearian Literature book on his lap and a cold bottle of water on the cardboard-box-turned-end-table next to him.

But of course, he wasn't going to be able to settle in that easily.

The shrill ring of his cell phone stopped him, the thick book shutting with a dull thud as he wrestled his oversized phone out of his pocket. Only two people called him, ever, and he knew that Kairi wasn't calling him. She was in class now.

"Hey."

"Hey, Riku! Haven't heard from you in a couple weeks."

He couldn't help it. Just hearing Terra's voice helped him relax, a small smile tugging at his lips. He couldn't help it. No matter how much he ignored Terra, no matter how many times he hung up on him, he always called back. It wasn't that he was worried about Poor Little Blind Riku Maes. He treated him more like That Stupid Brother That Ignores Me.

It was kind of funny.

"I haven't even been here a couple weeks. It's been nine days, if that."

"Oh, you're keeping track?" he teased. There was a bit of noise in the background and his voice was a bit muffled, as if the phone was sandwiched between his cheek and his shoulder.

"I'm just stating fact. Where're you right now?"

"Grocery store. I was wondering if you wanted me to buy some food to send up. I know I only really sent you up with a couple cans of chicken soup, and you said with your schedule that you don't eat dinner some nights."

Terra was a better mother than their mother had been.

"I think I'll survive. They sell sandwiches cheap at the library, and Roxas has an entire tub of snack foods that he put out in the main room for us to share." His book thudded onto the ground and he winced at the volume, then remembered that he didn't care that it sounded like a dead body had hit the ground. His legs curled up and he went sideways, flipping over to lay on his back on the couch. He could feel one of the fans better this way. The washcloth was already warm, but he placed it over his eyes and let out a content sigh at the feeling. "Is that all you called for?"

"I picked you up some cereal and Easy Mac anyway." There was a pause before he registered what Riku said, the mock offense audible in his tone. "What, you wanna hang up on me already?"

"I was just curious. Usually you don't call that often."

"Because I know you like being alone, you hermit." The phone moved, Terra's voice becoming clearer as he spoke to the clerk. Paper, not plastic. "How are the roommates?"

"They're alright. Sora didn't get here until yesterday."

"What?" Some more words to the clerk, and the phone went back to his shoulder. "Didn't classes start last week?"

"Yeah. I dunno why he was late. I didn't ask."

"Huh. That's kinda weird."

He gave a grunt in agreement, pushing his bangs out of his face to keep them from sticking to the cloth. He wasn't even moving and he was still sweating. It had to be at least in the nineties. Or upper eighties. There hadn't been a summer this hot in years.

"How are your classes?"

"Fine. I was just about to do some reading for that Shakespeare class."

"Sounds fun." Sarcasm.

"Yeah, I know."

The door to the dorm room opened, Riku dropping his bangs back into his face, even though the cloth was still there. It was a security thing he had.

It didn't smell like smoke, so it was probably Sora or Roxas. They went to the bathroom and Riku forgot to care who it was.

"I guess I'll call back later then. Good luck with your homework."

He groaned, tugging at the hair tickling his nose. "Yeah, sure."

"See ya. Love you, Riks."

"Yeah, yeah."

Click.

"Who was that?"

Riku just shrugged, not really wanting to answer as he kicked his leg off the couch, pulling the book towards his outstretched hand as Sora came out of the bathroom smelling like toothpaste. Who brushed their teeth at three in the afternoon? But whatever. Sora was weird. Riku had established this already.

"Um, about last night…?"

The book was flipped open, Riku's fingers starting to run over the little bumps on the page. "Yeah?" What about last night? Did something happen? Riku wasn't good at unspoken social prompts. And Sora seemed to be not good at anything that wasn't smiling or singing.

"You're not angry, are you?"

_What?_

His fingers paused on the page, head tilting up slightly to regard Sora's position. "No. Why would I be mad?"

"Well, when I asked about you being blind, you seemed upset."

No shit, Sherlock. "I don't like talking about it."

"O-oh, okay. Sorry."

"It's fine."

No, mosquitoes couldn't drown. They laid their eggs in still water.

* * *

That night, there was no Disney marathon.

When Riku got out of his shower, hair still damp enough to soak through his pillow, but too tired to care, Sora was tapping away at his computer. Writing an e-mail, or something like that. Not that Riku cared. It was just an observation as the bedframe creaked with Riku's weight added to the bottom bunk. Maybe when Terra came up to pick him up at Thanksgiving, he could do something about the creaking and shaking of the damn thing. He should have asked him about that earlier. But for now, he was just thankful that Sora wasn't asking him weird questions again.

He felt a little hypocritical then, because now he wanted to ask Sora the questions. Why was he so happy when he wasn't talking to Riku? Earlier, he had gone to dinner with Roxas and Axel and came back practically busting a lung with laughter. As soon as he talked to Riku, he was awkward and his sentences were half-formed with "um" thrown in every couple words. Maybe it was the blind thing, or maybe it was because Riku tended to be more closed-off than Roxas or Axel. It was just how he was. Sora was just going to have to adjust to that. He could learn a thing or two from Riku. And Riku shouldn't ask questions.

But he was just way too curious over Sora's tardiness than he should have been.

He was drifting on the edge of unconsciousness when he heard Sora's laptop close, getting stuffed under the pillow as Sora slid down to get comfortable. It was silent for a few beats before Sora sighed, flopping over to kick his feet out from under his sheets. Riku still wasn't even under his. The temperature had cooled off with the nightfall, but the humidity was starting to become a constant presence. Riku was looking forward to winter.

"Why were you so late in coming here?"

He hadn't meant to blurt it. Not like that, when the both of them were so close to sleep, but the humidity was making them too uncomfortable to drift off the rest of the way. He heard Sora make a sleepy noise above him, smacking his lips together as he rolled over again. He didn't hit his head on the bar this time as he stuck his head down.

"Um… I was at the hospital."

That wasn't what Riku was expecting. Well, he didn't really know _what_ he was expecting, but it hadn't been that. Did Sora have a broken bone or something? No, that wouldn't keep him in the hospital for a week. Or maybe he was just visiting someone. A slowly dying grandmother, maybe. Or Riku could just _ask_ and get a fucking answer to save him all the negative ideas.

"For a whole week?"

"Uh, yeah." Just that. He sounded slightly uneasy, and the bed squeaked as he resumed laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Riku should have taken that as a sign that the conversation was over, but the curiousity was making him talk in that half-asleep voice that he was surprised Sora could even understand.

"What happened?" Fuck being nosy. He was curious, and Sora seemed pretty open with everyone else. Maybe a little prodding would make them closer.

Jesus, now he sounded like a girl. _Wanting_ things like friendship.

No, he didn't want friendship. He just wanted him to stop saying things like "um" and "uh" every time he opened his mouth. It was awkward and it made him feel like Poor Little Blind Riku Maes again.

"Oh, it wasn't anything major. I just had a small surgery done."

What kind of surgery? Did it hurt? Was it expensive? Are you okay? Did you get a scar?

But Sora wanted the conversation dropped, so Riku went silent again. He wasn't awake when Sora said goodnight.

* * *

It wasn't very hard, accepting the fourth and final roommate into their walls. There was plenty of room, and Sora soon became a fixture either in his bed with Disney movies or novel-length emails, or squeezed between Roxas and Axel to keep them from jumping each other's bones during the evening news. They went through the usual discussion of dividing up chores (Riku was more than happy that he had chores, especially with Axel's "You're blind, not disabled" –It made him feel a bit more human) and things fell into a steady rhythm. Sora had early morning classes and when he wasn't off at class, he was out joining clubs and being Mr. Social. He made friends with everyone in the hall in about a week.

Roxas and Axel made friends too. Riku just stayed in the room, only leaving to head to class or the gym or the library. He wasn't being _antisocial_. No, he was just being… Riku. Riku Maes didn't like people. It was that simple. His roommates could tease him all they wanted.

But on the brighter side of things, summer was already starting to wind down. Of corse, winding down was a gentle way of putting it. It was like someone hit the switch and suddenly there was no more eighty degrees and humidity, and suddenly there were thirty mile-per-hour winds and the highs were at the fifties.

Riku really hated Michigan weather. It seemed to exist just to fuck with his internal temperature and his seasonal allergies. It wasn't really that surprising that Axel had managed to catch a cold a week into the sudden weather shift, still not used to "damn cold" that apparently didn't exist in Kentucky. But Riku had a sick humor to see how he would react in a Michigan _winter_.

But, as September turned to October and Axel kept sucking on cough drops as he watched FRIENDS reruns on his shitty little box TV, Riku and Sora were making a tradition of asking invasive questions until one of them got too uncomfortable to continue. Or Sora fell asleep. He was starting to make a habit of that falling-asleep-in-the-middle-of-a-sentence thing.

Riku learned that Sora was an only child, living in a house in Ohio with his mom, dad, dog, and a white picket fence. He got into the school mostly through academic scholarships, and he had family in the area that he would be living with over the summer. He would be going back to Ohio for holiday breaks, and Axel had agreed to drive him there, since it was on the way south. His mom worked at an office building as a receptionist and his dad worked at a car assembly plant or something like that. Sora wasn't really sure. He also learned that Sora had been on his high school baseball team and had joined a club for it on campus. He also joined a Disney film club, which was absolutely no surprise. When Riku asked him why he liked Disney much, Sora just said that it made him smile. That was a good enough answer, he figured.

As for Riku? All he confessed was that his parents were dead (car accident, he had said) and that he lived in an apartment about three and a half hours north. His blindness was a fire accident. His brother worked at an auto repair shop and part-time at a Mexican restaurant. That was it.

At least they were past the "um" stage. That was really all that Riku cared about. Friendship be damned- he was fine with being stuck in an acquaintanceship. Or maybe he was just kidding himself, because Sora was interesting and Riku wasn't and he was always curious.

It was kind of funny.


	4. Of Worms and Snakes

First of all, I wanna apologize for taking so long. I've been pretty busy with work and IRL shenanigans. Hopefully next update won't take so long.

Second of all, thanks for the comments. I'm not one to usually respond to them because I sound socially inept (because I _am) _but I read all of them and I do appreciate it.

Third of all, enjoy the _sort-of _plot development.

* * *

When Riku was little, no older than five, he slept with a nightlight. It was a silly little thing in the shape of the sun, plugged into the outlet next to his door. He hid it during the day though, unplugging it and hiding it under his pillow. He didn't want his mom to think he was scared, and he certainly didn't want his dad to see. But Terra knew about it. Terra had been the one that had bought it for him, growing tired of Riku trudging to his room down the hall in the middle of the night because he was scared of the dark.

His excuse hadn't been monsters, like most children. His excuse was that the darkness was too heavy. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see, and he felt so alone, floating in the black abyss surrounding his bed. He refused to sleep with stuffed animals (there were too girly) so Terra had bought him the little lamp at the dollar store one day with his ice cream money.

When Riku outgrew his nightlight, Terra took it away, and he kept it.

After the death of their parents and when Terra stepped in, he packed up the little sun-shaped nightlight in a box and moved it with them. He never let Riku see it, as it stayed in that little shoebox. He knew that if Riku knew he still kept the thing after all this time, he would be upset. Riku didn't want to be weak anymore. He never wanted to be weak. He wanted to be strong, even if that meant pretending he was fearless.

When Riku's entire life went blind, that little yellow sun was plugged in again.

Wherever they moved, Terra kept it. He plugged it into an outlet in Riku's room and he always kept it on, buying little replacement bulbs whenever they were needed. Riku never found out, because Terra never used an outlet that Riku was likely to find. He didn't know why he wanted to keep it a secret. It wasn't like Riku would have cared. He would have removed it from the outlet and said something along the lines of "what's the point" before throwing it away, and that would be the end of that.

Sometimes, it was hard for him to remember how much his little brother had grown.

Other times, he felt like maybe he didn't know him that well after all.

Riku's loss of sight had been a horrible tragedy for the both of them. The first year had been especially rough, and was certainly not made any better by Riku's stubbornness to remain independent. He was bullied at school, but at home he would run into corners or cut himself while cooking, or trip over rugs or cords or even his own backpack.

The first year, he never told Terra how afraid he was. How heavy the darkness was and how much it crushed him, making it unable to breathe. He was isolated because of his disability, but he wanted to be normal again. He wanted so hard to stay strong and just move on with his life, not letting anything stop him. But that's hard to do when you lose something you had relied on so heavily for the first decade of your life. But he stayed strong, to others. No one saw him crying himself to sleep, no one saw the nightmares, and no one saw him punching pillows or screaming into them out of frustration.

No one but the sun that lit up his room with light, even if he couldn't see it in his own perpetual night.

* * *

"Riku!"

It was customary for Riku Maes to not even break stride when someone called his name, especially if it was an unfavorable, nasally, too-peppy mix that came from Dennis and his new "Riku is Axel's roommate and Axel is my friend so Riku is too" attitude. The guy had only managed to get a "what's up" in Riku's direction and a grunt in response as of lately, and that was enough for him. But for Riku, that was too much. He had no plans of having any sort of relationship with the musician until he stopped inviting him out to parties where too much alcohol and not enough modesty was served.

"Hey, Riku! Wait up!"

Turning up his music a notch higher, his cane tapped the heel of the person in front of him, causing him to sigh in irritation. He was stuck in the throng of people going back to the dorms, and he was practically a sitting duck. He couldn't move any faster, and he heard the racing flip-flops (it was barely fifty out today, but Riku wasn't going to question—he was the one that wore high collars and turtlenecks year-round) and it was only a matter of time before—

"Geez, man, did you even hear me?"

Playing ignorance when he could smell the tofu on the other's breath was a little silly by this point. So he turned down his music, but kept his headphones on as he walked.

"Ooookay. Well! I was wondering if you'd be interested in coming to my Halloween party? Obviously it isn't until the end of the month, but it's gonna be a costume party and it's at Club Noct and everything! Axel said he was gonna go with Roxas, and I was wondering if you and Sora wanted to go?"

"Why would I know if Sora wants to go?"

There was a bit of rustling as he fixed the strap of his backpack, a nervous laugh tinning through the pads of Riku's headphones. "I dunno. I'm gonna see him t'morrow in choir anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. But what about you?"

Sora was in choir? Riku probably should have figured that out with all the singing Sora did in the shower and when he thought Riku was asleep.

"I mean, if all your roommates are going, you might as well go too, right? C'mon! It's gonna be awesome!" No response.

He gave an exaggerated sigh, his voice starting to fade as he headed down a different sidewalk to get to the music building. Riku had learned that if Dennis wasn't in his room, he would be in the music hall. Not that he cared. He just knew where to avoid. "You got some time t' think about it! Lemme know when you decide!"

It was going to be a no. He _really_ should have caught on by now.

Continuing his short walk, Riku found the door open when he got back to the dorm. The smell of cigarette smoke assaulted his nose and he wrinkled it, closing the door and placing his cane behind it, in its usual spot. He barely got two steps in before Roxas spoke up over the TV, most likely currently perched on Axel's lap due to the direction his voice came from and the noises that he had been making earlier.

"Me and Axel are gonna watch the game later, then there's a special awards ceremony after. You wanna watch?"

"Can't watch. Blind, remember? Besides, I have a genetics exam I have to study for." If no one was going to exclude him, maybe he would exclude himself.

"Oh come on," Sora whined, making Riku pause mid-step when he realized Sora had probably willingly been sitting on that couch, not caring about the make out party going on next to him.

Sora was weird, and Riku was never going to get used to that.

"But—"

"Riku, yer in fuckin' college. Ya don't study. Yer s'posed to party! Enjoy it! Ya got no supervision!"

Scowling a bit in Axel's general direction, Riku pushed his headphones down to settle around his neck, fingers gripping the worn material of his backpack straps. "Yeah, you and Dennis seem to do that a lot."

There was a muffled laugh and a confused noise from Sora before Axel corrected him with a half-amused "his name is Demyx" before a few giggles were shared and the bedroom door was slammed in their face by someone who would much rather study for an exam he was probably going to fail in the morning.

At least, he had planned on studying, until a rather urgent brunette dragged him onto the couch. Axel had made popcorn and burnt it a little, causing Riku to pass up on it and settle for a bottle of juice as he listened without much attention to whatever the hell they were watching in the first place. Apparently their team had been on a winning streak as of late in the college area of things, and a special ceremony was being conducted to celebrate the new coach. Or something like that. Riku wasn't paying much attention anyway until—

"Do you dream?"

The question was sudden, and even the dead fly on the windowsill could hear everyone tense up at the same time. Everyone currently being Riku, Axel, Roxas, and Sora all crammed onto the tiny couch for audience of the tinny little box TV that still went out of whack with its crooked rabbit ear antenna whenever someone so much as touched the wall it was leaning against on its little rolling stand. Riku hadn't really been paying any attention, until Sora had spoken up to him. He was too focused on the sounds Roxas and Axel were making with all their touching and kissing and _why_ was he sitting next to them instead of at the farthest end, like Sora?

But Sora had asked the question in the middle of a commercial break, and he wanted an answer.

Sora had that habit. The habit of asking questions that were completely off topic and left you dazed for a few minutes before you could respond. It was never anything deep or philosophical, but just… odd. The other day, he had asked Riku if he was allergic to peanut butter in the middle of doing his math homework. He wasn't allergic, but that didn't stop the dazed thirty or forty second pause that occurred whenever Sora asked something out of the blue.

"I mean, I know you dream, because it's a thing humans _do_, as a thing with our brain and all, but I was just wondering if you dreamt about visual stuff or… something else. Yanno?"

Axel coughed awkwardly and Roxas swatted at his shoulder to wipe off imaginary dust.

But Riku shrugged it off and answered as calm and collected as always with an almost-bored, "Of course I do. I see things when I dream."

"Huh."

And just like that, the conversation had dropped.

Every time that Riku thought he had Sora pinned down to a T, something would pop up out of nowhere to change that. Sora wasn't just some happy-go-lucky kid that sang along to Disney all the time. Half the time he was wasting away on his computer in complete silence, and the other half he was living up a socialite's dream and participating in any club that so much as shoved a pamphlet at him. He could be ridiculously naïve ("Riku, why is all that grunting coming from Axel and Roxas' room?") but surprisingly smart (any person that could recite 20 numbers of pi was smart, in Riku's opinion) and his entire personality was like that. He was a coin with two sides that just kept flipping and Riku couldn't even keep track anymore. It had only been a little over a month, but Sora had confused him so much that he had given up all hope of understanding him.

But he found Sora so damn _interesting_.

It was normal to be curious. It was normal to question him on little things like why he could eat so damn much at dinner but claimed he didn't gain weight or why he loved Disney so much. But his curiosity had reached the peak of no return. He didn't even know he found his tardy roommate too interesting, and he didn't know why he never asked him the list of questions that grew every day. Maybe he was some sort of masochist or something.

"Roxas, can you pass the popcorn?"

Maybe this was the part where the canned laughter was supposed to kick in. How comical, to ask a question that two out of four couchmates thought was awkward and to get a normal response, then things move on like "pass the popcorn" as if nothing happened. One out of four couchmates have been left out of the joke. One out of four was too busy thinking about the complexities of his freshman roommate. Go on, laugh.

"Sure, here."

It's casual. It's so fucking casual, and he didn't know why it suddenly felt like someone was jabbing him in the rib cage with a thorn the size of his arm. Nothing happened, it was nothing of importance, he didn't even _care_ about the question. Then why the _hell_ was it bothering him? It wasn't like he was insulted, no, that wasn't it. He wasn't offended, or angry, or anything bad. He was just suddenly… uncomfortable.

"Thanks!"

He was hyper-aware of Axel's thigh touching his and the overwhelming stench of smoke. He was hyperaware of Sora munching popcorn, his arm brushing Riku's side as he ate. Why? Why was he suddenly ripped from his half-awake state of thinking about his exam tomorrow and focusing on the moment at hand? Why did it feel weird? Why didn't he feel like he belonged all of a sudden?

"Yeah."

One in four couchmates don't dream normally. One out of four couchmates make everyone else uncomfortable.

"Haha! Lookit 'is face! Too salty fer ya, Sora?"

One in four couchmates are blind.

Two hours later found Riku damp from a shower with his genetics book spread over his legs, half-laying on his bed as he crammed for his exam the best that he could. Sora was still in the main room with Roxas and Axel, but Riku had long since blocked them out. He was too busy memorizing DNA codes. His fingers danced along the pages, re-reading every page at least twice to make sure that the information was embedded in his mind as much as it was able. He knew that Professor Vexen was notorious for trick questions and difficult exams and he was going to take every precaution that he could. He was a bad test taker as it was—the special scantrons and tests he got weren't exactly easy to navigate, on top of that.

But he had always been a good student, and he wasn't about to let one stupid exam ruin that for him.

He was used to teachers and professors alike going easy on him for his disability. He always seemed to get special treatment, and the teacher would go out of her way to make sure he was "comfortable" and "able". He didn't particularly like that sort of treatment, but now that he was faced with Professor Vexen, he sort of missed the babying. The slimy professor was more intrigued by his genetic error that gave him his odd color of hair. Rather than "Are you sure you're comfortable?" he was faced with "Are you sure you are the only in your family with that color of hair?" (The answer was no, he wasn't, but he wasn't about to tell Vexen that). He didn't really care, but it had gotten very annoying very quickly. He wanted this semester to be over and done with so he didn't have to see Professor Vexen again for a long, long time. Hopefully never again, but it was a rather small campus.

He was ripped away from thoughts of a Vexen-free future when his phone rang, the noise slightly muffled due to being buried in his backpack. He didn't get up to answer it, knowing it was Kairi. Terra had called a week ago to ask how classes were, and it was too late for him to be awake anyway. Almost two in the morning, by now.

That little realization made him yawn, a finger reaching up to the thick scar tissue to rub sleep out of his eyes. The phone stopped when his voicemail kicked in, his genetics book joining the clutter in his backpack and crushing said phone as it gave a little beep. Whoever had called left a voice mail. Kairi could wait until the morning, right? If she couldn't, it wasn't like she didn't know where he lived.

Heaving a sigh, Riku laid down, flopping over to his side and tucking an arm under his pillow. It was finally cool enough to sleep under his sheets, his pajama pants riding up his calves as he stretched out under the blankets. He wasn't particularly exhausted, but all of the cramming had taken its small toll. He was going to dream of DNA strands, he knew it. Genetics was about as boring as it got (although his art history class last semester had been his primal nap hour) and he still wasn't all that confident in the exam. But then he wouldn't be a real college student if he didn't bomb at least one exam, right?

Like Axel said, college wasn't about studying. It was about having fun.

Yeah. _Sure_ it was.

* * *

Riku Maes was smart.

He had been on the honor roll since elementary school, bringing home gold stars and little certificates that he couldn't really care less about. He knew that school was a test of your memory, and not your intelligence. Even so, he liked to think that his intelligence was high and that his grades just reflected that. He wasn't _cocky_ about it, no. He was just proud of it. Just a little bit. But his pride was being drained the longer his pencil tapped against his desk, brain clicking as it ran on fumes.

Perhaps cramming hadn't been the best way to go about this.

Although, judging by the sounds around him, Riku wasn't the only one that was still stuck on the first page of a hundred question exam that Vexen had handed out with too much joy to be sane. He could hear someone in the row in front of him whispering to someone else to let him copy. The girl beside him sounded like she was having a brain aneurism. Riku himself kept passing his fingers over the bumps of the same question on his own little specialized test form, wondering if he was reading it wrong or something.

Learning braille had been something that was especially difficult for Riku. It had taken him a few years to even get the basics down, giving his senses time to adjust so that he could feel the bumps better. Even then, he still wasn't very good at it. He read slowly, and even now, it would take him hours just to get through a few pages. Even that stupid _Chicken Soup_ book took him a few weeks to re-read, even though he could practically recite the thing by heart. He wanted to think that he was a fast learner, but his braille skills had been holding him back heavily in that aspect.

He was good at reading words like _and_ or _the_. Words like _genetic mutation_ were a little hard to decipher. He could only imagine how everyone _else_ was doing at this stupid exam.

He got his answer when the classroom's phone rang, successfully scaring the shit out of the aneurism girl as the shrill beeping ripped through the silence of the room. As soon as the professor's nasally voice answered, the whispering grew more desperate, everyone knowing that there was _no way_ Professor Vexen would catch them cheating—

"Riku Maes?"

A cold sort of dread sunk through his bones, wondering if he, of all people, had been suspected of cheating. But Vexen's clipped voice continued, sounding everything but happy.

"The call is for you."

It was another one of those weird instances when Riku could actually _feel_ the multitude of people staring at him. He sat there, dumbstruck and confused for a moment, before he realized that he should probably hurry because Vexen was one of those professors that you did _not_ want to get on the bad side of, even if it was for five seconds over a stupid phone call. So, shuffling awkwardly out of his seat and leaving his blank test sheets on his desk, he grabbed his cane and made his way down, a little surprised at the sudden complete silence that filled the room.

No one cared about the test when Silent, Blind Riku had a phone call.

He made it to the phone after what seemed like eternity, Vexen's sour stench making it rather obvious that he had arrived. The smooth corded phone was placed in his hand and, as soon as he placed it to his ear, Vexen snapped a rather loud "Back to work!"

"H'lo?" he mumbled, not wanting to be loud enough that the entire room could hear him. At least now, some of the whispering had come back.

"Riku Maes, correct?"

"Yes, Sir…" He had no idea who he was talking to, but it was obviously a voice of someone superior in the hierarchy of college affairs. Definitely not a kid.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you in class like this, but I know a phone call is less intrusive than walking in. I would like you to meet me at the central office as soon as you are able."

"Why?" He wanted to mention something about the exam. _Sorry, taking an exam. Can't be meeting deep-voiced strangers now._

"Sora is in the hospital. We were going to contact Axel or Roxas, but… He requested you. He only needs someone to help him get back and help him with his mobility."

Sora was in the _hospital_?

"So you call the blind one?" His voice was a little harsher and louder than he intended. He heard Vexen shush him. He muttered an apology in his general direction.

"I'm aware of your circumstance, but Axel is unreachable and Roxas is not in class, so we have no way of reaching him either. Sora—"

"Fine." The phone was returned rather clumsily to its cradle, Vexen approaching with his quick, long strides. Before he could ask, Riku blurted. "My roommate's in the hospital. Can I make up the exam?"

He could practically smell the disapproval waving off the man, the desk chair creaking as he took a seat. Someone in the crowd of students stood, apparently done with the exam already. "Eight o'clock tomorrow morning in my office. Don't be late."

To say that Riku was happy he gotten away from that mind-numbing exam was a bit of a bittersweet statement. Sure, he was plenty glad that he could put off the exam for a bit longer so he could study more, but then again, Sora was in the _hospital_. He didn't know why, but if the rumbling voice at the other end of the line had been any clue, he had lost some of his mobility. But he shouldn't worry too much, right? Maybe he had just twisted his ankle during baseball or done something equally stupid. Maybe he fell over during choir and passed out from hitting his head on the bleachers. Maybe he got hit by a car or—

Nope, that was the wrong train of thought.

It took him a while to get to the central office, having been there only a few times. He knew it was across from the library, however, and tried to use that bit of direction to his advantage. Lucky for him, the sidewalks were rather empty. It was just past one in the afternoon, and most people were in class by now. That was a blessing and a curse, because while it meant that he didn't have to worry about anyone, it also meant that no one was stopping him from walking out into traffic.

Being fussed over was iffy like that. But he supposed he should be grateful for the solitude while he had it.

He no sooner walked through the automatic doors, heavy fans blowing down at him to keep the bugs at bay because Michigan mosquitoes were active until there was a foot of snow on the ground, before that deep voice was no longer muffled over a phone speaker, sounding rather close as dress shoes tapped on carpet to approach him.

"There you are, Riku Maes. We should hurry. My car's out back."

The doors opened as he made to leave, Riku only turning in a slow circle in an attempt to face the man. "Who are you, anyway? It's sounding kind of sketchy at this point." But since when had Riku ever used caution? Since he blew his face up, that's right.

"Ah, I apologize. I am the Dean's first assistant, but you may just call me Ansem. It's a pleasure to finally meet you face-to-face, Riku Maes. Now, if you please, I suggest we leave now before Sora thinks we've forgotten him in his hospital bed."

The Dean's first assistant? Was that even a thing? Oh whatever. Sora was at the hospital. He could work on the trust thing later. He just needed to go.

Ansem had a nice car. A new one, by the smell of it. The interior was all leather, and Riku's seat was even heated. The day was cold, so the heat was nice, but no amount of quiet purring engines or luxurious heated seats were about to fix the little worm that had suddenly formed in Riku's throat and wiggling around. He didn't know what it was, but his body was tense and apprehensive. He didn't like hospitals after spending so much of his blind time there, but then again, he hadn't liked them before the accident either. They were always to clean and too sanitary. As if they were trying to hide the fact that hundreds of people would die within those walls throughout the years. The staff was always too friendly and cheerful, trying to cover up the horrible truth behind bloody syringes and body bags. He didn't like hospitals.

But that wasn't what that little worm was about, his Adam's Apple bobbing as he attempted to swallow it. It seemed to move down to his chest then, giving him a sick sort of pain throughout his body. It was worry. The same sort of sick worry he felt when he was told he might be separated from his brother. The same pain when he saw his father being led away in handcuffs. Only, this time, it almost seemed worse. He was worried about Sora and his lack of _mobility_, as Ansem had put it over the phone. What if it was worse than a baseball injury? What if he was really hurt to the point that a blind kid could actually help him? What if he was blind too?

No, that was stupid. Sora was fine. He was too cheerful to get hurt like that. Too careful to burn his own face off.

But that little worm of worry just kept getting bigger…

When they arrived at the hospital, parking near the ER entrance, Ansem took the liberty of walking up to the front desk and asking about Sora while Riku awkwardly stayed back, tapping his cane rhythmically against a plastic chair and trying to get rid of that goddamn pain. But it just kept getting worse as he breathed in the sanitized air, hearing nurses talk to each other and someone in the corner of the waiting room wailing over a broken arm. Ambulance sirens sounded in the distance, rapidly getting closer, but Ansem's hand was on his shoulder and he was ushered through the doors.

The heavy hand of the Dean's assistant was removed and replaced by a light, dainty one that brought the almost gag-inducing smell of sour perfume. A nurse, in a too-bright tone, was directing him to Sora's room. She was talking to him along the way, but his mind had tuned out, only focused on _where is Sora and why can't he move what's wrong with him I'm gonna be sick_.

They came to a pause, the nurse awkwardly cutting off in the middle of telling Riku that they were there. He wondered why, but then he realized that the door to whatever room they had stopped in front of must have been open, because he could hear every word inside.

"Your CD4 is a bit off since you lost so much, so make sure to rest and stay on top of your medication. You're all patched up now, but if there's any more bleeding, call us and come back here immediately."

"'kay… Hey, you're not gonna call my parents, right?"

"No, Sora. But they will know you were here, because we need to bill their insurance."

"Aw man…"

"You should just be glad someone got you here when they did, Sora. You could have—"

Could have_ what?_

"Riku!"

There was a little choked-off noise by the nurse in the room before she sighed, Riku moving out from under the hand of his guide to step inside, feeling around clumsily with his cane before he found a chair to sit in. Hospitals had a way of taking his breath away. He really hated these places.

"Whoa, Riku… Are you okay? You look really pale. Like… _really_."

"Compared to how pale you were a few minutes ago, I think he's fine," Sora's nurse teased, her padded sneakers heading for the door. "I'll grab some water just in case."

There was a long pause after the door clicked shut, which only caused Riku to worry more. Sora was a talkative person, and letting a silence stretch on for more than thirty seconds was completely unlike him. What did CD4 mean? How bad had he been bleeding? What if he was hurt? What if he was—

"Sorry 'bout this, Riku… It was either you or my uncle and, well, I figured you wouldn't yell at me. I wasn't sure how long I'd be here, so I kinda made up a little lie to my nurse so she could get you here for some company." He laughed, but it sounded a little weak. His voice did too, as if he had been running a lot and was finally taking a breather. "Sorry to freak you out though. Really, I'm fine."

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be in the hospital." His words were sharp, and he felt them in the air around him as soon as they left his mouth, stabbing at the sudden silence. He was still beyond confused about what was going on, but he figured that Sora wasn't about to give him an answer unless he asked. "Why are you here anyway?" He didn't hear any beeping or dripping or humming of oxygen tanks, so… maybe he was okay then.

A nervous, breathy laugh. The door opened and Riku felt a cold bottle of water being pushed into his hand. He mumbled a thank you and the nurse checked on Sora for a bit before announcing he should be ready to go once the needle was done (needle for _what_?) and she left the room again. He took a little sip of his water, but it didn't really help. The little worm of worry had formed into a god damn snake that was busy crawling around his insides by now.

Sora sighed, the hospital bed creaking a bit as he moved. A little "ow" was breathed out before he sighed again, head flopping back down onto his pillow. "I, uh… I wiped out on some stairs. I wasn't really looking where I was going and I missed a step, and my arm and leg got pretty scratched up. And that would be fine, except I'm… I have hemophilia. That bleeding thing, yanno? I don't clot up and it just keeps bleeding until I come here and they patch me up or something. But it's… kinda worse than that. You heard what the nurse was saying, right? Before you came in?"

He gave a slow nod, brain still trying to recover. Sora was okay. He had just been bleeding too much, but now he was okay. Maybe that CD4 thing was a hemophilia term. He was fine. Well, sick, but fine.

"Well, it kinda makes it worse because I have HIV and that can spread through blood, so—"

Riku's brain pretty much shut off at that point.

He had HIV? Wasn't that an STD? Or had he gotten it as a side effect of his hemophilia? HIV was terminal, wasn't it? Or not? Fuck, Riku didn't know. He didn't know a damn thing about HIV, or hemophilia, for that matter. He could only just stare into the blackness in Sora's direction, jaw working loosely as he tried to hide his surprise.

Sora was still talking.

"—and that's why I was late to school, because I had a really bad accident on my bike and I ended up in the hospital getting transfusions and stuff for a week, then my parents wanted to pull me out because they thought that college and being away from home would be too dangerous, and now if they find out that I _did_ get hurt, they're gonna throw a fit and—"

Sora had HIV. A possibly terminal illness that Riku had to Google once they returned to get more answers about. He also had hemophilia, meaning he couldn't get a papercut without a possible trip to the hospital and bleaching everything that his blood touched. That explained the bottles of disinfectant that Riku had found on accident when he was looking for his additional blankets, but…

But Sora was _still _talking.

"—I guess I just figured I would tell you now, just in case something happens. But can you pretty-please not tell anyone else? I mean, I trust you and all, so it's okay if you know, but… I dunno. It's kinda personal. Sorry it's kinda awkward though, but I couldn't really give a warning."

"But why trust me?" That was all he seemed to get out at the moment, despite the way his thoughts were jumbling and racing, much like that snake in his gut, which was even bigger now. He wasn't gonna vomit, was he?

"Because we're friends, aren't we?"

But Riku Maes didn't _have_ friends.

"Uh… Yeah. I guess we are."

Male mosquitoes didn't suck blood, did they?


	5. Silence

_HIV is the Human Immunodeficiency Virus and it attacks your body's immune system. The virus destroys CD4 cells, which help your body fight diseases. HIV can severely damage your immune system and lead to AIDS._

_HIV can be transmitted from one person to another when blood or certain body fluids (semen, vaginal secretions, or breast milk) from an infected person get into an uninfected person. _

_Without a fully working immune system, a person is at risk for getting other infections that usually do not affect healthy people. _

_Symptoms can include: dry flaky skin, persistent tiredness, fever that comes and goes, heavy night sweats, rapid weight loss, swollen lymph nodes in the armpits, groin or neck, and/or white spots on the tongue, mouth or throat._

Sora was sick.

Google searches were providing Riku with more condom ads than actual _useful_ information, and after nearly forty-five minutes, he still hadn't found out if it was terminal. He figured it wasn't, considering that none of the articles he read through gave him much information. Then again, he had the speed of his text-to-speech program cranked to the maximum so much that he could barely understand what it was saying anymore. He just wanted answers, but he didn't want to ask Sora about it. Sora probably answered those questions too much. Sora probably didn't wanna talk about it. His curiosity had reached the level of overflowing, his fingers even moving over the memorized keys to type into Google "optimism correlating with terminal illness" just to find out why Sora seemed so happy all the time.

Sora was sick, and he was taking a shower to wash the smell of hospital off of himself while Riku sat on the couch with his laptop and headphones. That was all he really knew.

But Sora was more than an illness, wasn't he? That's what Terra had once said about him. Riku was more than just his blindness, and Sora had to be more than his illnesses. He was still Sora, and nothing had really changed about that fact. Hell, on the cab ride home, Sora had been singing Disney tunes under his breath the whole way. He was still happy and even laughed when Riku had asked if he was high on pain meds. He was fine. A little fall, a little hospital trip, and he was fine.

Riku didn't know why that bothered him.

* * *

Sora Lowry was a very naïve person.

It wasn't really his fault, honestly. He had been cooped up in a little white room for a majority of his life, being homeschooled by his mother and never learning much else about the outside world other than what he could see from his window. He could name every country in Africa, Europe, Asia, and know every capital of every state in United States, yet he didn't know the meaning behind shoes hanging from telephone wires or what a public school looked like outside of TV shows or stupid high school movies. He watched a lot of documentaries on anything from dolphins to Egyptian gods, wanting to know all he could about the world without leaving his house. He didn't even know how sex worked until he was 15 and his parents decided to give him The Talk, only to receive numerous warnings afterward that he could get hurt from it or make the other person sick if he didn't use proper protection, or even if he _did_ use it.

Going to college had been a _huge_ step up for him. It had taken Sora a year after attaining his GED to get his parents to agree, just like it had been when he wanted them to buy him a bike after they moved to Ohio for his dad's work transfer. That bike had nearly stopped him from going to college, blood and all, but that wasn't something a little pouting and screaming and crying wouldn't fix. (Yeah, so what, he was spoiled.)

Sora had been scared about the prospect of attending college no less than he had been scared about public school. No one would know his illnesses, he could get hurt, he could hurt someone else, and his parents were in Ohio and his uncle was a three hour drive away. If he needed help, he had to trust strangers to call 911 and not touch his blood. Falling down the stairs at the library had reminded him of that, and honestly… he was scared. But the freedom of actually being on his own (even if he _was_ still monitored by professors and near-daily phone calls to his parents) made that little note of fear worth it.

He was learning things at college, and very little of it was actually book smarts. He was learning how people really acted, how friends treated each other, and every foul term Axel could spit out to get Roxas to blush. Not everything he learned was a good thing, but it was still exciting either way. For once, he actually felt like he was starting to live. Instead of four white walls with matching carpet, now he only had white sheets and a few bottles of disinfectant. It was a big step, and he still worried and he still got sad when he was lying in bed and Riku was doing his soft little kitten snore below him (because it sounded kind of cute when Riku snored because he sounded like a baby). But then he remembered that he was 18 and finally getting a life outside of his bedroom, so really, what was there to be so upset about?

Sora Lowry liked adventure, after all.

* * *

The bathroom was small. There were two sinks in the counter, a toilet, and a shower that no one could wash in without bumping their elbows on the walls at least twice. There was a fuzzy little bathmat on the floor below the sinks that Roxas claimed his mother had laid down, but it felt so nice to stand on the bright yellow monstrosity that no one bothered to move it. The mirror above the sinks covered nearly the entire wall, little fingerprints here and there when someone had drawn a smiley face in the steam. There were toothbrushes, toothpaste, and Axel's hair gel scattered on the counter, everything belonging to the redhead having his name on it in dark black sharpie so he wouldn't forget what was his. There were pills out too with that name written on them, but they never really got taken. Axel would always forget.

Sora was dabbing himself dry with a towel, careful around the bandages that the hospital had applied to his cuts. He didn't like peeling them off, even if he was probably in the clear to do so now. Ripping them off tended to leave bruises, so he simply left them on until the water from the shower rinsed them clean off. It probably wasn't the most sanitary way to go about it, but it was better than getting bruising from a little band-aid, wasn't it?

He wrapped the towel around his waist when he finished, pouting at his reflection in the steamy mirror. His hair had immediately sprung back up to its usual habit of sticking up in every direction possible, but he had learned years ago that no amount of brushing or hair gel would fix that. So he just combed out what he could, giving up on the brown nest and slipping into the room he shared with Riku to get dressed. He kept his clothes in the closet, as Riku had already claimed and perfectly organized the dresser.

It was a little weird, having someone blind for a roommate. He always felt like Riku was staring at him, or could see him, or anything along those lines. But the reality of it was that Riku saw nothing but black and Sora was just a little voice that would pipe up from time to time. Sora had never met anyone blind before (not that it was much of a surprise that he hadn't) and he had been doing a little bit of research into it. One of his friends from back in Hawaii had a grandmother that was blind from birth, so he had been emailing him back and forth about what it had been like. He had asked Riku questions when he could, but he couldn't typically get very far until Riku closed himself off again. He wanted to know what _kind_ of accident Riku had been in and when and why and how and what it was like—But Riku was a closed-off tragedy and Sora could only stare at him and wait for those glossy eyes to see him back.

But those glossy, burnt eyes were hidden by long white bangs that reminded Sora of those super-hairy sheepdogs, and he couldn't stare at Riku too long or else he would start wondering if Riku was a dog and he'd giggle and Riku would mutter something about Sora's weirdness.

The ridiculous hair didn't just apply to Riku though. If anything, Riku looked the most normal. Roxas looked like he had been standing in front of a fan too long, Axel looked like a porcupine (a wet porcupine when he woke up), and Sora was just… messy. But Sora liked Riku's hair the best. The color was a little weird, and he knew for a fact that snowy white hair didn't come from a bottle. He had heard of people going prematurely gray, but when he had asked Riku about it one night, he had only gotten the answer of "it's always been like that", which didn't really answer Sora's question and Sora was curious.

Sora was _really_ curious.

He sighed as he pulled on his hooded sweatshirt, wincing a little at the way the bandages tugged at his skin when he stretched, yanking on a pair of sweatpants and deciding that, no, he was not going to go back to class. Going to the hospital had successfully worn his out, and he wanted nothing to do but take a nap. But first, he had to make sure Riku was alright, because he had been acting a little strange ever since he had come to the hospital, so—

"Riku Alexander Maes!"

Sora hadn't even pulled the bedroom door open when the front door crashed in, a girl's shrieking voice causing him to jump back and re-evalutate if he _really_ wanted to go out there or not. He wasn't good with girls.

"You could have knocked."

"And you could have called me back! Jeez, Riku! Didn't you even get my voicemail? I could have been dying!"

"Clearly you weren't, or else you wouldn't be here right now."

Alright, so Sora giggled a little at that.

"Ugh, I can't believe you. Why don't you answer your phone?"

"You called in the middle of the night. What was so important, anyway?"

"I need—"

Sora had chosen that moment to push the door open, managing to shuffle over to the mini fridge unspotted, grabbing one of the orange juice boxes that had Axel's name on it (he wouldn't remember there was one missing anyway) before the conversation was cut off, Sora turning to see a rather red-faced Kairi standing in the doorway, one hand still half-heartedly pointing accusingly at the blind boy on the couch with a laptop open to some page about the final stages of death and dying.

"Oh, hey." He smiled. Just like always. "What's up, Kairi?" Kairi. Kairi from French class. Kairi that wanted to be his partner for the final exam Kairi. Right, he knew who she was. She was nice. But how did she know Riku? Didn't Riku say once that he didn't have many friends?

Kairi's eyes immediately snapped back to Riku. "Why didn't you tell me he was here?" she hissed, face turning redder than her hair.

"You never asked."

It was a weird sensation, standing there while people talked about you.

Kairi gave Riku a glare he couldn't see before she looked back up to Sora, smiling through rosy cheeks and embarrassment. "I was actually wondering, Sora, if you were going to Demyx's party? I was gonna ask Riku if you said anything about it, but I might as well just ask you, huh?" A nervous laugh. She was kinda cute.

"Yeah, I was gonna go." He smiled right back, pushing the little plastic straw through the little aluminum-covered hole in his juice box. "I dunno what costume I was gonna wear though…"

"Oh, good!" Her hands clapped together, hanging down in front of her with her fingers entangled. "I was wondering if you wanted to come costume shopping on Saturday?"

"Sure. It's in a couple weeks, right?"

"Seventeen days!"

Riku sunk a little on the couch, laptop going out of Sora's view. Kairi didn't seem to notice.

"Oh! Um, do you think we could exchange numbers? Just so we can organize where we'll meet up on Saturday, I mean."

Smiling, Sora nodded, chocolate spikes bouncing as he picked his phone up off of the cardboard box-turned-table and handed it over, taking Kairi's pink little iPhone in exchange. It took him a few minutes to figure out the touch screen before he put in his contact, handing it back to a newly-blushing Kairi that looked like Christmas had just come early.

"Thanks, Sora! I'll keep in touch!"

The door shut and there was a solid thirty seconds of silence before Riku spoke up, Sora too busy sipping his juice and staring at Kairi's phone number on his little pixelated screen.

"She likes you."

"I like her too."

"Not like _that_."

Sora blinked, looking up as Riku's laptop was snapped shut. He opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but he was already stuffing the computer in his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.

"I gotta get back to class. Be more careful from now on."

Sora's cheeks puffed up, pouting at the boy with charcoal around his eyes. "I am careful!"

"You were in the hospital."

"I'm okay, Riku. It's not gonna happen again!"

He didn't miss the way he frowned before he grabbed his cane and was out the door, not wanting to hear Sora's excuses.

* * *

The next day, Sora still skipped his classes. His alarm still went off at the crack of dawn as usual, and to his surprise, Riku's had gone off only five minutes later. But he laid in bed and watched him leave, wondering what he had to do so early in the morning. He knew that Riku wasn't a morning person, and he had stayed up so late reading last night…

Everything about Riku made him curious.

But he supposed it was none of his business.

Even as he was sitting at his usual spot on the bench, feet stretched out and scraping mud off of his shoe and onto the dugout's fenced wall, he was thinking about it. Riku had been silent since the instance with Kairi, to a degree that was even unusual for him. He didn't answer any of Sora's questions, not even saying a word whenever he tried an actual conversation. It made Sora increasingly uneasy, fingers fiddling with a worn baseball as he ignored his team, which was practicing out on the field. It made him uneasy to think that he had scared Riku off with his choice to trust him with the knowledge of his illness, but then again, it wouldn't of surprised him if Riku never treated him the same again. His parents had warned him that not everyone would be open about his diseases. People tended to be scared of that kind of thing.

Maybe it was just the cliché notion of a blind person loving someone for the inside.

His face flushed bright read as soon as that thought entered his head, feet dropping back to the dirt dugout floor, fingers gripping tightly at the beaten ball in his hand. Maybe that wasn't a bad thing to think, but for some reason, putting the word love with Riku sounded a little… weird.

But he allowed his mind to take that idea and run with it. Sora knew he was gay—It was something that was as obvious to himself as the fact that he had brown hair. He had never come out about it, of course, because of the connection people tended to place between HIV and the gay population. He didn't want to be bullied or hated because of that (another warning by his parents to keep him home) but then again, he didn't really think it mattered. Sexuality was sexuality and no one needed to know that unless you wanted to sleep with them.

The more that Sora mulled over the idea of Riku, ignoring the crack of a bat on a ball or the shouts of his teammates on the field, the more he realized what he was feeling. He wasn't just uneasy, no, he was horrified. Horrified at the thought that Riku wouldn't want anything to do with him anymore. He liked Riku, and he was still blushing at that little revelation. He liked Riku. He liked how Riku looked and acted and how he didn't talk all the time, but never really shut anyone out for good. He liked the way his lip would curl in concentration when he was reading, the way his fingers moved over the bumps in the page so effortlessly, how he always sat with a bit of a slouch, but he always stood with his shoulders straight—

But Kairi liked him, didn't she? Riku said she did… But Kairi was just a friend. Mostly just a classmate.

He jumped when his thoughts were interrupted, the cage in front of the dugout shuddered and clanged as a baseball slammed into it, followed by a shout of "Sorry Sora!" from Hayner, who was just grinning with a bat in his hands.

"Hayner! Hit it straight! Wipe that damn grin off your face!"

"Sorry, Coach!"

Sora spared a small smile to the baseman that had trotted over to retrieve the ball, getting one in return before practice continued.

He was used to sitting on the bench. He had explained his condition to his coach, who had reluctantly allowed him to join anyway. He wasn't allowed on the varsity team, no, but at least the recreational team let him on. He was allowed to be pitcher, and that was it. He was sitting out because Coach was pitching, and Coach didn't like the fact that Sora had an arm covered in bandages and was still a little pale from his hospital journey. Sora didn't mind though. He just liked being able to be a part of things, including bench chit-chat.

Sora had given his Riku situation a bit more thought before practice had finished, distraction coming in the form of Hayner plopping down next to him and chugging Gatorade. He hadn't even _ran_ that much and it wasn't like it was hot anymore—

"Hey, you feeling better?"

Sora gave a small smile, nodding as his fingers continued to play along the seam on the ball in his hands. "Yeah, I'm good. Just a bad fall."

"How the hell did you fall hard enough to fuck up your arm so bad?"

He laughed nervously, shrugging. The bandages tugged uncomfortably at his skin, but he was already mastering the ability to hide the discomfort. "My feet went out from under me, and I guess I just tried to catch myself the wrong way."

"Dude, you need a helmet or something."

A smaller laugh. Yeah, he did need a helmet. He needed a damn airbag.

* * *

Saturday had come faster than Sora had expected, his bandages still loosely sticking to the skin under the sleeve of his sweatshirt as the bruising began to fade on his arms. He had been laying in bed, staring blankly at his biology book when his phone went off, not even looking at the display as he answered it, all too happy for a distraction.

"H'lo?"

"Hey sleepy head!"

"I'm not sleeping!"

"Get outta bed then!"

It was then that Sora seemed to realize that Kairi's voice was _echoing_, coming from somewhere closer before it fuzzed through the speaker against his head. Eyebrows scrunching, he shimmied out of bed, hanging up and stuffing his phone in his pocket. He ignored the dead fly on the windowsill as he peered out of the screen, having cracked it open to allow a bit of a breeze in the stuffy room. Sure enough, there was Kairi, laughing at him with her pink phone in her hand. She was bundled up in layers, hair too done-up for just costume shopping and too much makeup for a Saturday morning. Although she _did_ look kinda cute—Sora just had other preferences.

"Come on! We gotta get there before it's too busy!"

Amused by how excited she was, he just held up a finger to convey that he would be right out, grabbing his wallet and keys before shoving his feet in his shoes and tip-toeing out. After all, it was only ten in the morning. Riku and Axel were still asleep, and Roxas was washing up in the shower. He was able to slip out without disturbing anyone, meeting Kairi in the lobby.

Then again, it was hard to tell when Riku was awake.

But he was, and he was laying on his back with a hand in his hair, idly rubbing at his scalp as he listened to the brief conversation between Sora and Kairi through the window. It was a little chilly in the room this morning, but that could have easily been passed to the fact that he had somehow kicked the blankets off during the night and hadn't bothered to pull them back on again. He had been awake for the last hour, contemplating what the hell he was supposed to do.

He had been contemplating for three days.

He had done all the research he had been able to do since then. He had gone to the library to read e-books and the scarce bit of braille medical books that they had, researching on his laptop once he had reached the end of his resources there. HIV was an odd disease in the sense that there really wasn't much information on it. Most articles had merely touched on it before going on to talk about AIDs, and he wasn't even sure if HIV and AIDs were separate things or not. However, finding information on hemophiliacs was easy enough. He had even gotten his hands on a few documentaries. He knew what hemophilia was and how to handle it and how to avoid hurting Sora with little bruises and things, but…

Something was off.

Maybe it was just because he had such a loss at what to do. He had never been in this situation before, and pulling from his past experiences wasn't going to help him. He knew that his recent avoidance of Sora was certainly _not_ the right way to handle the situation, but he didn't know what else to do. He didn't know what he was supposed to say. He knew that he should apologize for the way he acted as of late, maybe ask him a few questions to find out more than what books and the internet could tell him. He needed to _communicate_, but he always knew that things like that were his weakness. He could barely hold up a conversation about the weather, much less HIV and hemophilia and god knows what else.

It gave him a headache, if he thought about it too long. It gave him a headache when he laid in bed at night, staring at his eternal darkness, trying to figure things out. Sora was just too damn interesting. There was nothing else that he could answer if he didn't ask, but he didn't want to ask, because it seemed stupid. It wasn't just the recent events either. He wanted to know Sora's favorite color, why he chose a college in Michigan, if he was homesick, what his favorite Disney movie was—

Why was he so obsessed?

He had called Terra about it, still lying silently in bed while the rest of the dorm awoke and Sora stayed out with Kairi doing whatever it was she was dragging him around for. It seemed so stupid and cliché of him to be calling his older brother about something so tiny and insignificant, but he needed to talk to _someone_ about it.

"Riku? What's up? It's been a while."

"I have a problem."

Cue protective older brother mode. "What's wrong?"

He sighed, feet moving skyward until they were planted firmly on the metal bar underneath Sora's bunk. "Nothing's _wrong_… It's just…"

Riku didn't talk about his problems. He didn't talk about anything, really. He didn't like talking.

"What?"

Another sigh, fingers twining and tugging at his hair as he tried to remember why the hell he called. "Sora has HIV."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, Riku catching a little bit of background noise. Was Terra out somewhere…?

"Are you uncomfortable with that?"

"No." He had blurted it out without a thought, blinking in surprise after it left his mouth. No, he really wasn't uncomfortable.

"Then what's the problem?"

Kicking at the bar with his bare feet, Riku gave his bangs another tug. What _was_ the problem? "I…"

There an amused little noise, Riku's face scrunching up at the sound. This was _funny_ to him? He was having a crisis! He wasn't good about talking!

"He's still human, Riku. It's just a disease, and it's really not likely you'll catch it from him. There's no reason to work yourself up."

At least Terra knew Riku well enough for that.

"Is that the only reason you called, or did you actually wanna talk—"

"No, that's it."

He hung up before Terra could say a proper goodbye, feeling a little guilty afterward about the abrupt ending. But even though Terra had instilled a little bit of sanity back into him, something still didn't sit right with him. It felt like there was a thorn stabbing him in the side, twisting and pushing every time he stopped and thought about Sora. It wasn't the HIV or the hospital visit or the exam he had made up and only managed a 60% on… It was something else, and he couldn't put his finger on it…

He ended up staying in bed for most of the day, only rolling out when his stomach growled to grab a bag of chips from the food bin in the main room. He had then brought his lazy I-can-do-homework-later self to rest on the couch, nibbling at the chips and letting his mind wander and trample on the thorn that was now starting to sting at his chest.

Maybe he just had a mosquito bite.


End file.
